Resolutions

  • My goal was to lose 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go!
  • Ate salad for dinner!  Mostly croutons and tomatoes.  Really just one big, round crouton covered in tomato sauce.  And cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza.  I ate a pizza!
  • How to prepare Tofu!  A- Throw it in the trash.  B- Grill some MEAT!
  • I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider’s web!
  • I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
  • Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet thru shag carpet to change the TV channel.
  • I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… I forgot where I was going with this.
  • I love being 50! I learn something new every day… and forget 5 others.
  • I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
  • Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

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