Walter Elias Disney was an American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, entrepreneur, visionary, and philanthropist. He was the son of Flora and Elias Disney, and had three brothers and one sister. As the co-founder (with his brother Roy O. Disney) of Walt Disney Productions, Walt became one of the best-known motion picture producers in the world.
Walt Disney (December 5, 1901 – December 15, 1966)
Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
“Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy cow, what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting drunk from all the beer.
Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. wench is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I’m eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off? It really makes me mad that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. The heck with those rednecks!
Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!
Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like stuff to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. The heck with it, I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he’d have reacted to a really hot chili?
FRANK: ————– (editor’s note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
Posted in Because I Can, Humor
Posted in Because I Can, On This Day, Patriotic
Walter Elias Disney was an American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, entrepreneur, visionary, and philanthropist. He was the son of Flora and Elias Disney, and had three brothers and one sister. As the co-founder (with his brother Roy O. Disney) of Walt Disney Productions, Walt became one of the best-known motion picture producers in the world.
Walt Disney (December 5, 1901 – December 15, 1966)
Dear George:—
Remember no man is a failure who has friends.
Thanks for the wings!
Love
Clarence.
Posted in Because I Can, The Little Screen (Television)
Rex Stout (December 1, 1886 – October 27, 1975)
Rex Todhunter Stout was an American writer noted for his detective fiction. Stout is best known as the creator of the larger-than-life fictional detective Nero Wolfe, described by reviewer Will Cuppy as “that Falstaff of detectives.” Wolfe’s assistant Archie Goodwin recorded the cases of the detective genius from 1934 (Fer-de-Lance) to 1975 (A Family Affair).
Posted in Because I Can, Literary
Richard Wagstaff “Dick” Clark (November 30, 1929 – April 18, 2012)
Richard Wagstaff “Dick” Clark is an American television personality and businessman, best known for hosting long-running shows such as American Bandstand, various Pyramid game shows, and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.
Clark has long been known for his continued youthful appearance, earning the moniker “America’s Oldest Teenager”, and also for his good health — until he suffered a stroke in 2004. With some speech ability still impaired, Clark made a dramatic return to his New Year’s show on December 31, 2005, and appeared at the Emmy Awards on August 27, 2006.
Posted in Because I Can, Music, On This Day
On November 30, 1996… we all heard Griswald say, “Hello” for the first time.
November 30, 1996 –
Posted in Because I Can, Gaming, On This Day
“I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley”
Leslie Nielsen (February 11, 1926 – November 28, 2010)
Leslie William Nielsen, OC was a Canadian American actor and comedian. Nielsen appeared in over one hundred films and 1,500 television programs over the span of his career, portraying over 220 characters.
Born in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, Nielsen enlisted in the Royal Canadian Air Force and worked as a disc jockey before receiving a scholarship to Neighborhood Playhouse. Beginning with a television role in 1948, he quickly expanded to over 50 television appearances two years later. Nielsen appeared in his first films in 1956 and began collecting roles in dramas, westerns, and romance films. Nielsen’s lead roles in the films Forbidden Planet (1956) and The Poseidon Adventure (1972) received positive reviews as a serious actor, though he is primarily known for his comedic roles.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (May 29, 1917–November 22, 1963)
The assassination of John F. Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States, took place on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas, USA at 12:30 p.m. CST (18:30 UTC). John F. Kennedy was fatally wounded by gunshots while riding with his wife Jacqueline in a presidential motorcade through Dealey Plaza. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, an employee of the Texas School Book Depository in Dealey Plaza, according to the conclusions of multiple government investigations, including the ten-month investigation of the Warren Commission of 1963-4 and the United States House Select Committee on Assassinations (HSCA) of 1976-9. This conclusion initially met with widespread support among the American public, but polls, since the original 1966 Gallup poll, show a majority of the public hold beliefs contrary to these findings. The assassination is still the subject of widespread speculation and has spawned numerous conspiracy theories (even the HSCA, based on disputed acoustical evidence, concluded that Oswald may have had unspecified co-conspirators), though these theories have not generally been accepted by mainstream historians and no single compelling alternative theory has emerged.
Posted in Because I Can, On This Day, Patriotic
On November 20, 1998, the first segment of the ISS, the Zarya FGB, was launched into orbit on a Russian Proton rocket, and was followed two weeks later by the first of three ‘node’ modules, Unity, launched aboard STS-88.
Posted in Because I Can, On This Day, Patriotic
Dick Wilson as Mr. Whipple with the Charmin.
Dick Wilson, born Riccardo DiGuglielmo (July 30, 1916 – November 19, 2007), was a British-born American character actor who played the role of finicky grocery store manager Mr. (George) Whipple in over 500 Charmin toilet paper television commercials (1965–1989, 1999).
Posted in Because I Can, The Little Screen (Television)
